Why I Spoke to My Boss About My Insecurities - The Muse

Why I Spoke to My Boss About My Insecurities - The MuseWhy I Spoke to My Boss About My Insecurities I recently ran into a bit of a snag on a project I welches working on. And no matter what I tried, it just felt like I was never going to get it right. So, after staring at the same document for a couple of days, I did something I never thought Id do I told my boss I was having a hard time and opened up about how insecure this made me feel. At first, I immediately regretted approaching her. After all, shes my boss, and not only do I respect and admire her, I was afraid of looking completely lost in front of her. But, when she gave me the exact confidence boost I needed, I ended up learning some valuable lessons about admitting that I wasnt feeling my best. 1. Not Getting Something Right the First Time Doesnt Make You Bad at Your JobI tend to be hard on myself, even though as a full-time writer, I know that very few people write first drafts that are just so good, their editors say, Thi s is incredible, lets just run it However, its totally understandable for people in any line of work to feel like theyre just the worst because their first reisepass at something didnt go as planned. Of course, this isnt something Im typically good at understanding, because like everyone else, I dream of being the exception. But heres what I have to remember Sometimes my first drafts are strong, and other times, theyre just a little more challenging than anticipated. But, that doesnt make me bad at my job. And it doesnt make you bad at yours, either. 2. Admitting You Need Help Makes You a Better TeammateIm fortunate enough to work with some insanely smart people on a daily basis, so I put a lot of pressure on myself to get things done without much help. And although my mother would probably approve of this mindset to a certain extent, theres one serious flaw with this kind of thinking. If you dont understand something, you actually could be holding back your team from getting someth ing critical done. Whats worse, nobodys going to know how much youre struggling if you dont speak up for yourself. So, when I fessed up to my boss about how down I was feeling, not only did I get the confidence boost I needed, I also got the chance to talk the project out with her. And ultimately, we realized it was a project that required more thought, would take more time, and require me to ask a few other people some additional questions. All good things, right? From where Im sitting, theyre all things I would have never realized if I hadnt gotten up the courage to admit I was stuck. 3. Even the Most Experienced People Need a Little EncouragementThe more people I talk to about this whole thing, the more that I realize that some of the most talented people I know run into this problem, too. While it was a little bit of a shock to me at first, it makes perfect sense. Because who on the face of this earth knows what theyre doing 100% of the time. And how many people, no matter how s mart they are, have gone their entire lives without asking for a little bit of help? Sure, there are plenty of people out there who havent asked outright for a bit of a confidence boost, but Id wager that nobody you know has done his or her job without asking for assistance at one point or another. Sometimes when youre working hard, you hit a wall. And when you hit that wall, its perfectly OK to ask for a few words of encouragement, even if youre the best at whatever it is you do for a living. Im sure there are plenty of people who would mucksmuschenstill feel uneasy about going up to a boss or colleague and saying, Hey, this projects making me feel like an idiot. Can you remind me why I was chosen to lead it? And Ill admit that it still makes me uncomfortable, especially since I still havent figured out how to stop beating myself up when I dont do something perfectly. But, every time Ive asked for a little help, I remembered that saying those words aloud doesnt cause the world to c ollapse. And when I asked for a little bit of a pep talk from my boss recently, I didnt get fired or lose her trust. If anything, I became a little better at my job in ways I wouldnt have if I hadnt spoken up about how I was feeling a little lost. So, next time you need that confidence boost, think about straight up asking for it. And, taking this concept a little further, the next time you see a colleague struggling give him or her a few words of encouragement yourself.